Thursday 29 November 2012

Orgasmic or Obscene (2)

How To Squirt In His Face

** To anyone who knows me personally, you may wish to stop reading now. This may be a little too much information for you...

I think it must be rather obvious by now that I rely on Google quite heavily to get me through my days here on Planet Earth. However, I was dumbfounded recently when I made the shocking discovery that it is not, in fact, as wholly reliable as it had previously led me to believe. As it turns out, typing 'Female ejaculation' into the Google search bar provides an abundance of similar results, none of which seem particularly truthful or useful. Or maybe it's just me...

The majority of websites that I have researched give exactly the same advice: Put your fingers a few inches inside her vagina and stimulate the spongy area which can be located towards the front of the pelvis. Do this ceaselessly. Do not react negatively when she ejaculates. Oh, and p.s, don't worry, it's not urine. Probably.

If what you desire is a raw and swollen g-spot, do feel free to follow the above method. For those of you who don't, however, here is how to ejaculate, Paris Talor style:

First, have sex. A penis relentlessly rubbing against your g-spot is much better than two flailing fingers, trust me. Here are a few good g-spot stimulating positions:

1) G-WizzIf this is done well, you shall be screaming.

2)  Downward DogLying down doggy is, for some reason, significantly better than regular doggy. Possibly because you feel a little less like man's best friend.
3) The MistressDo this, do this, do this, do this. It is, without a doubt, one of the best positions ever invented. You will come, and come, and come, and then come some more.   

Ignore the first two; go with position 3. Do this until you are thoroughly orgasmed out. Next, sit astride his face, like so:


He can use his tongue slightly, if you like, but what is most important of all is that you use your fingers. I've said it before and I'll say it again, no one can fuck you quite like you can. He can also put his fingers inside you now, but only if he promises that there will be no aimless prodding.

Continue like this. When you feel yourself on the verge of orgasm, you may need to push slightly. Try your best not to fart, this may kill the mood. And one last word of advice, to contradict that of the numerous aforementioned web pages: It does not feel like you are going to pee. There is a noticeable difference between the sensation before you squirt, and that before you pee. So don't worry, just let it go. My boyfriend thinks it's the sexiest thing he's ever seen. 

So there you have it. It does take a surprising amount of effort to achieve, but if you have the time (and some clean sheets), go for it. What have you got to lose, really? Think about it, how many times has he came on your bed/on your face/on your tits/in your hair? Ladies, it's high time you got your own back.

** I would like to add that this is what worked for me, therefore I felt I must share it with the women of the world. If this works for you too, please report back to me, it will make me happy! Additionally, if you have any other methods that work for you, or anything that you've read about that you would like me to attempt (!), please do comment and let me know =) 

Paris x


  1. you're disgusting and obscene! jokes, downward dog is the best ever.

  2. Actually, the hard and fast finger fucking, while standing up, one foot on a stool, arms around his shoulders because it's so fucking intense, works for me! And it felt like I was going to pee.. just like what they say. Thing is, I had never heard about it before so haven't made it up, I googled the stuff afterwards to find out more about it. Now that I've experienced this a few times, I am more aware of the sensations, doesn't feel like peeing anymore and I even squirted while on my tummy bent over the bed recently. But I'll happily try your recommendations ;-)

    and yes, he LOVES it ... and so do I...


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Lots of love,
Paris x